| Thursday, June 26th, 2008 |
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一味地眷恋过去是愚蠢 一味地梦想未来是愚昧 只好携着回忆以期待的心情 等待 下一个天亮 用起伏的背影 挡住哭泣的心 有些故事 不必说给 每个人听 许多眼睛 看的太浅太近 错过我没被看见 那个自己 用简单的言语 解开超载的心 有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听 你的热泪 比我激动怜惜 我发誓要更努力 更有勇气 等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗 有些积雪会自己融化 你的肩膀是我阔大的天堂 等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗 我喜欢我飞舞的头发 和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光 时间可以磨去我的棱角 有些坚持却永远磨不掉 请容许我 小小的骄傲 因为有你这样的依靠 |
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| Sunday, June 15th, 2008 |
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It's raining stars. Stars of all shapes and sizes. Staroids, starites, starlets, starlings. All crashing to the ground from a place high high above, breaking into a million smithereens. I reach out frantically to grab hold of some of them, to break their fall, to salvage anything I can. But they slip through my fingers like fish through a broken net. Each piece breaks off at a clean angle, forming countless perfect mirrors. For a moment, everything looked so heartbreakingly beautiful. The rain stopped. Suddenly, all that's left are shattered pieces of me and a deep deep silence. |
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| Saturday, December 1st, 2007 |
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Molly smiles Daddy's little girl paints the world with her magic wand Daddy's little child breathes new life to the morning time for me Though we're apart, her thoughts follow me When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn Molly smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo When she plays, Molly smiles On a summer day, Molly smiles A new day, Molly smiles Daddy's little girl ties a ribbon around my heart Daddy's little child waves goodbye to the ocean tide that sweeps me Though we're apart, she's a part of me Molly smiles with the dawn Molly smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo When she plays, Molly smiles On a summer day, Molly smiles A new day, Molly smiles When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn Molly smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo When she plays, Molly smiles On a summer day, Molly smiles A new day, Molly smiles When the days have gone grey, Nothing's wrong when Molly smiles I don't know if i've said this before. But thank you guys. For all the great memories. |
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| Friday, November 16th, 2007 |
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又是一段故事的终结篇.大家都不知这一声"bye"所意味的时空距离有多寡.对一些人 我选择相信这只是个开始. Passed my lifesaving 123 today. Next goal:Bronze Medallion! |
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| Tuesday, November 13th, 2007 |
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当一切变得太吵杂时， 我只想安静一下。 当人际关系变得太复杂时， 我只想安静一下。 当无缘无故地忙得透不过气时， 我只想安静一下。 当一切太安静时… 以为我能习惯 一个人的安全感 --路太弯 潘玮柏 |
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| Saturday, October 13th, 2007 |
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记得小时候,我好喜欢画画,尤其享受替单调无味的图片,添上精心搭配的五颜六色。我记 然而,我也渐渐随着时间的流逝,累积了一些智慧。 它告诉我:红色很娇艳,粉红太腼腆,紫色代表同性恋.男生只该喜欢黑色的收敛,蓝色的 生命教会了我,我也把某些色彩从生命中删除掉了。 ~ 记得小时候,我直来直往,毫无畏惧,无忧无虑.尤其一个事件铭记于心。阿公还在世时, 然而,我也渐渐随着时间的流逝,累积了一些智慧。 它告诉我:不是每件事都需斤斤计较,钻牛角尖.你还不明白事理,要是常常不计后果就冲 生命教会了我,我也多了太多欲言又止,悔不当初。 ~ 记得小时候,我好胜心非常强,无论是什么都喜欢挣第一.不论是画画,游泳,乒乓,成绩 然而,我也渐渐随着时间的流逝,累积了一些智慧。 它告诉我:人非圣贤，孰能无过。得失心要是太重，反而会事得其反。有些事是不在我们控 生命教会了我,我也越来越懂得认命。 |
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| Sunday, September 30th, 2007 |
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I need to learn what are important to me and treasure them. I need to venture out and experience life. I need to overcome my fears and worries. I need to let go of my burdens and move on. I need to take steps to become who i want to be. I need to break out of a world revolving only around textbooks and exams. I need to learn that people can take different routes to get to the same destination, if they even have the same destination to begin with. I need to let people learn and grow in their own time. I need to seek to understand instead of seek to be understood. I need the wisdom to take charge of my life. |
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| Friday, November 3rd, 2006 |
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Staring at 18 years of my life Staring back at me. |
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| Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 |
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Damn it. On the brim of shouting all the curse words i know. Sorry i din mean it. |
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| Friday, September 29th, 2006 |
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失而复得 怎么突然 感觉如此陌生 心绪不宁 怎么不能 摆脱理智牵扯 若即若离 怎么沉默 并不表示了解 心如止水 怎么总是 都以失望收场 夜以继日 怎么不知 自己是忙茫盲 |
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| Thursday, July 27th, 2006 |
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比我幸福 - 陈晓东 望着广场的时钟 你还在我的怀里躲风 不习惯言不由衷 沉默如何能让你都懂 此刻与你相拥 也算有始有终 祝福有许多种 心痛却尽在不言中 请你一定要比我幸福 才不枉费我狼狈退出 再痛也不说苦 爱不用抱歉来弥补 至少我能成全你的追逐 请记得你要比我幸福 才值得我对自己残酷 我默默的倒数 最后再把你看清楚 看你眼里的我好紆糊 慢慢被放逐 放心去追逐你的幸福 别管我愿不愿 孤不孤独 都别在乎 |
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| Sunday, July 2nd, 2006 |
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Lesson in Biology Amino acids exist as zwitterions in water. They are neither acids nor bases, neither totally whole nor uselessly incomplete. In fact each of them can be part of a whole, an assembly of amino acids, what is more familiarly known as proteins. Indeed, it is their ironic, rather, amphoteric nature that allows them to have such amazing properties. Faced with different incoming groups, they present vastly different sides. How else can they exist so harmoniously together and build up something so useful and entire as a protein? But, as with other biological molecules, there are bound to be imperfections, what we usually call mutations. They somehow manage to escape the stringent proofreading of The DNA Polymerase and the countless enzymes (specifically nucleases and ligases) armed with excision capabilities that forcibly correct the resultant structure of the protein. Some might find this an almost miraculous feat, these mutant products managing to survive the treacherous journey and escape unscathed, but mutations are evil, harmful and cause widespread damage to the system, for homeostasis (the maintenance of a constant internal environment) is of utmost importance to the human body. Granted, some mutations are beneficial, but they are rare, so what normally happens is that the body tries to remove all sources of mutations, sometimes undergoing such drastic actions as systemic apoptosis. This is where the entire body launches its defensive mechanism, and the body is left to waste away. To the body, these actions are justified, worthwhile and the norm. ~ This is what you get from 5 weeks of mugging. Lesson in Humility Went swimming today. Been a long time since i last swam, was out of breath by the first few laps. Luckily things got better after getting used to the action. Overall, it was a refreshing 1.5 hours, and it brought back memories of my primary school days when i was forced to swim every sunday. Swimming used to be such a chore in the past, now it's an enjoyment. Only irritating thing was the number of people. Had to stop at least once every 2 laps to let people swim past. Shall go in the morning next week. Anyway, I've never done any laps with butterfly before. Fully convinced that now i would be able to do it, i decided to be ambitious and attempt one lap. The front was ok, but as i swam to the middle, deepest part of the pool, my recently-acquired ailment acted up again. My calves cramped suddenly. I should've seen it coming, since it was threatening to misbehave yesterday while i was playing basketball. So there i was in the middle of the pool grabbing my feet and pulling it towards me to stop the cramp. Luckily no lifeguard saw me, else it would be damn embarrassing getting rescued by one. Haha. Strange it doesn't even cramp when i do freestroke. Looks like I won't be able to do butterfly in quite some time. |
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| Thursday, May 25th, 2006 |
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Been a long time since i last updated my blog, realised it's high time that i did... Just an update on my life, school's ending soon and i'm not actually looking forward to it... ironically it is even more packed than the school term, especially the first week... but i'm not complaining cos i know there are others who have worse schedules than me... Jia you pple! Had fun playing volleyball during pe today... Played a great game... Particularly liked the teamwork and the dynamism needed in this sport... Too bad there aren't anybody whom i can play volleyball with on a regular basis... Looking forward to PE again tomorrow! Went down to ny today to settle the script stuff and headed down to tp right after... It's really heartening to see this project develop, grow and expand along the way... Good to know that what we've done thus far has not come to naught... Still a long way to go, but making good progress... hope things stay that way... In other aspects of life... it's taking 3 steps forward only to take 5 more back... which makes me rather angry -at myself largely- and depressed... Shall take things one step at a time for now... Quite looking forward to bike hike and ATC, but sort of dreading everything else in between and thereafter... Realise i have a way of ending my entries on a sad note... which is rather sad ehh... There, i did it again. |
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| Sunday, May 14th, 2006 |
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每 个 人 的 心 里 都 有 一 把 尺， 有 人 的 长 得 连 那 宽 大 的 心 胸 也 容 纳 不 下， 有 人 的 却 短 得 可 怜， 但 谁 又 有 权 力 决 定 适 当 正 确 的 尺 度？ 无 情 的 命 运 有 时 又 故 意 地 把 对 立 的 两 者 并 排 在 一 起， 这 是 残 酷 的 讽 刺 还 是 有 意 的 安 排？ 对 他 人 总 是 有 太 多 的 义 无 反 顾， 对 自 己 却 只 有 无 数 的 悔 不 当 初。 想 解 读 为 虚 情 假 意 也 好， 愚 笨 也 罢， 只 要 坚 持 信 念 就 不 怕 迷 失 自 己。 但 愿 如 此 吧。 人 天 生 实 在 有 太 多 缺 陷 了， 有 人 擅 长 包 装 掩 饰， 有 人 却 表 露 无 疑。 盲 目 的 究 竟 又 是 谁？ 无 知 可 以 是 幸 福， 但 自 欺 欺 人 却 只 会 带 来 痛 楚。 希 望 能 配 一 副 心 灵 眼 镜， 让 这 世 界 不 再 模 糊 不 清。 ~ 电 灯 问 蜡 烛：“ 你 明 知 道 当 人 类 需 要 光 时， 只 需 轻 而 易 举 地 把 我 的 开 关 打 开， 四 周 就 会 顿 时 被 照 亮， 你 为 什 么 还 愿 意 燃 烧 自 己， 只 为 发 出 那 微 弱 的 光 芒？” 蜡 烛 想 了 想， 说 道：“ 也 会 有 停 电 的 一 天。” ~ 人 的 确 是 盲 目 的。 |
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| Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 |
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Mind fried after doing probability tut... Still surprised that i din smash any tables while doing it... probably (argh!) cos i was afraid i couldn't afford to pay for the damages to Mac if i did... first time i was so frustrated i couldn't be bothered to express it... esp over sth like a maths tut... what the... Thanks to my fellow muggers today if not things could have turned out worse... Went to eat doujiangyoutiao after that, thankfully... and bought mother's day present... for the first time... haha.. think my mum will be shocked more than anything else... and then grumble that we wasted money buying stuff for her... ok however unwilling i am i should thank juli for the idea... Dun keep accusing me of koping your idea arh.. The present cost lower than my projected budget but it's the thought that counts ehh...? haha... Talking about thoughts.. isn't that what defines humanity? Aren't we all otherwise lifeless creatures roaming the earth aimlessly if not for the ability to think...? Every single one of us is brimming with thoughts, no matter how varied they are. In fact, it is indeed this diversity in thoughts that is truly amazing... Sometimes when i read about people passing away in papers i think to myself, how sad it is for someone overflowing with thoughts to just disappear entirely from the face of the earth... together with his/her thoughts... thoughts that i would never be able to think of... thoughts that are so complicated they cannot be expressed... thoughts that might otherwise benefit others... Yet they can be such powerful and dangerous weapons at the same time... throughout the course of history how many innocent lives have been sacrificed just because of one single thought that has gone wrong...? It is thus rather scary how our thoughts can be conditioned... squashed an ant i found on my room floor a couple of days ago.. A few moments later i saw another ant carrying the body of the dead ant scurrying across the floor... couldn't bring myself to kill it... suddenly all the Buddhism teachings abt stopping to let ants cross your path to prevent stepping on them do not sound too extreme after all... dun these creatures also have thoughts and emotions too...? If not why else would they bother saving their own kinds...? The thought of having the power to kill another living thing at whim is scary, even though it's only an ant... but dun all things start small...? First it's fine to quash an ant... then it's ok to kill a chicken... then it's alright to slaughter a pig... then it's acceptable to take the life of another human being... where do we draw the line...? Can we draw that line...? History has warned us about this countless times, like the story of Hitler and his desensitisation practices... i really wonder how much longer it would take before i quash that second ant carrying its comrade without batting an eyelid or thinking about such stuff... |
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| Thursday, April 27th, 2006 |
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Something unpleasant happened in hc a few days ago... Thought abt it a bit and got stuck at a oxymoronic paradox© (ok no link)... my parents have always been telling me how stupid and irresponsible it is for one to attempt suicide... so i grew up with this mentality that "hey it's such a stupid thing to do, i'll never do it." But as i get older, all the sensitivity crap starts to get in the way... i start to think of how and why pple do such things and the amt of stress or grief they must be under to resort to such drastic measures.. then i start to think maybe it's unfair for any third party to judge the actions of others... but thinking this way is like conceding that it can be an understandable course of action and thus giving myself the room to toy with such ideas... strange how sometimes apathy can actually be a defensive mechanism... finally completed napfa... still think our pe department is lame... made us go back at 5 to run 2.4 and if it rains they will void the 5-items results... how convenient for them and inconsiderate to us... but must say i'm rather contented with my napfa results since i met my aims... must zhi zu chang le! feel dumb bloggin about such stuff when there are pple already worrying about university entry... this pri sch friend of the same age went to college in uk, is doing well and is spoilt for choice as to which uni to go to... offered places in medicine in 2 top Us there... and here i am talking abt such parochial stuff... |
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| Thursday, April 20th, 2006 |
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我真的累了。 何时该拿，何时该放？ 有些事并不是人们所看到地那么简单，难道结果真的那么重要吗？是不是应该给人个解释的 是时候放了吧。 人为什么总是要赢？为了一点小事就争得面红耳赤，到头来赢得的又是什么？自尊？快感？ 那些早就该放的。 在人们力求上进，做个更好的人的当儿，难免会跟他人相比。纵然清楚地了解这多不应该， Pavane is nice, it's a slow, sad and melancholic piece written for a dead princess. YT has decided to increase the pace of Air 'Suite' since it's supposed to be a peaceful song. I still find the slower, darker version more preferable. |
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| Friday, April 14th, 2006 |
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The higher the hopes, the harder the fall... Like the feeling of falling through the air... with the air rushing past you and the thrill of speed combined with the sensation of weightlessness.. of having no burden to carry... even that of your own weight... Too bad it's shortlived... i'm not suicidal... just talking about 2 totally diff stuff... went climbasia with cc on thurs after sports heat... sports heats was fun... though there's no chance of us winning anything but it has been a long time since i last sprinted 200m... and it was damn irritating cos there's this guy just in front of me whom i din manage to overtake at the end of that 200m... not that i could have if the race were longer... he's a long dist runner... haha... Anyway.. climbing at climbasia was fun... but it was damn ex... the walls, setting and atmosphere are very diff from that of climbadv... acquainted with some ex-nj odac pple there... v friendly pple... and they helped us quite a bit... mostly bouldering there at climbasia... which means not being bound to a belayer and everyone being responsible for his own climb... falling while not being on belay was fun... the knowing that there's hard ground to catch you no matter how high u fall from.. though everything hits u all at once when u reach the bottom... the disappointment of not having grippped on to that chunk of rock with your life... of falling after you've spent so much effort trying to get up... of how much weaker you are than you expected... But what do we do next..? We pick ourselves up and try again until we reach the top... it's just a matter of how long we allow ourselves to waste more time wallowing at the bottom of the rock wall... Too bad in life, this is not always the case, we dun always have the luxury of trying again... |
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| Wednesday, April 12th, 2006 |
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Went for a refreshing run yesterday... Damn shuang... Ran a new route which was rather long but actually felt energised after that... wonderful feeling... Think it's because i was not running under any pressure or timing... The feeling of running at a leisurely pace without worrying about stuff like whether i can better my previous timing or whether i can make it back by a certain timing is liberating... haha... ok not that i was some confined hamster running a wheel to power a plant... but the feeling is different and it feels good... Running can actually be fun... Wonder if professional athletes actually miss out on these joys because of specialisation and pressure to perform... Quite sad ehh defeats the purpose Anyway the main aim of this entry is to rant complaints... Ponned harmoc on tues again to meet Mr P at tp to do some cip stuff... To think i even made the effort to rush down after the run... wad the... had been calling him for 2 consecutive days to ask if i can arrange for another day to settle the stuff cos i have harmoc on tues but he was unreachable as always... so no choice have to go down... when i reached i called him to tell him to open the door cos it's locked from inside and only staff can access and he wasn't even there... Luckily LL gave me YP's (another staff at cdc) number and she was at her desk... if not i'll be locked out until he comes back lah! Kao... But YP was of great help... helped me edit the letter and format and stuff... even though you're not our mentor anymore... Thanks a lot! But i still wasn't spared the laborious admin work... spent the next hour printing stuff and photocopying stuff and the next hour putting the letters into the envelopes... Damn sian... sitting there repeating the same actions over and over again like some robot... Forging signatures was the only fun part... haha... came up with more than 10 variations of signatures for the same name... if they ever were to check the authencity of the letters i'm screwed... haha... Anw Mr P happily strolled in at this time and i bet he had forgotten the appointment with me lah... wad de... felt like killing him... the worst thing was he called me while i was enveloping the letters just a distance away and asked "Hi this is P, who is it who called?" He doesn't even know that i had been calling him the entire 2 days and had only bothered to return the calls then lah... Argh Anw went tp central to post the letters after that... the 44 schools had better reply man... but it is definitely sth off my mind... haha... finally can relax now until they start replying... On my way home saw a person walking his dog... not exactly walking but dragging it... that poor dog had its front part above the ground and its hind legs teetering behind in a desperate bid to prevent itself from being strangled by the collar lah... some pet owners nowadays are damn cruel to their pets man... should have called the spca... |
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| Monday, April 10th, 2006 |
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Haha… damn lag… Here I am blogging about wad happened last Wednesday... Not that it matters since I guess it’ll be a long time before I’ll forget about it… till now there’s only one word I can think of to describe that day… crazy Ponned school that day because it was some council elections thing which I have already maintained has nothing to do with me… and went paddle culture with climbing club to rent kayaks… at first I was still feeling rather apprehensive about the entire thing since I had to con my parents and walk out of the school gate after they have dropped me in school, against the stream of students going in… but we had so much fun I felt no guilt at all at sea… haha.. it has never occurred to me that I could actually be so morally bankrupt (to quote jm)… Thanks guys… it was damn fun… though part of it was attributed to the thrill of rebellion, it was great fun capping u all and getting capped… haha… 18 capsizes in 3 hours wad the hell… and I like the recovered sense of familiarity I once felt but lost some time ago due to unknown reasons… the actual act of spending time with friends is definitely much more valuable than any presents I can ever receive… thanks it was a great birthday present… In retrospect, losing my specs was a worthwhile exchange I guess... though I must say I felt the pinch when I realized my new specs will cost me 115 bucks… and sorry hw for pang-sehing u towards the end… we should have waited earlier… When I reached home… I was told that attendance was taken personally by mr teh on that day since our ct has gone for re-service… so I typed out this excuse letter and passed it to my father for signature… then I suddenly realized I do not know what to tell him since he was the one who fetched me to school that morning… and I stunned there for ages when he asked me “you din go to school today?” But being the ever honest me I told him that there was this council thing that I find pointless and so din attend but conveniently left out the part about going kayaking… and he just signed the letter… which made me feel all the more guiltier that I was betraying his trust like that… So I decided this shall be the only time I will ever do anything like that again… that’s what makes it precious anyway… plus it’s time I keep check on my rebellious streak… thanks cc… for making my 18th birthday such a memorable one! |
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